It seems I have been good with yoga but bad with the blogging. I must say it is pretty hard sometimes to find words to write down the experience. I am not sure if to even write this but hey I have been pretty honest with this blogging thing so here goes nothing. Most of my days lately are boring as hell, I feel more alone than ever, only time I see people is when I have to give my classes. To be honest the only time I feel remotely alive is when working out. Sweating it out has always worked for me so I am glad I have that going for me even though one part of me feeling so down lately is also due to the fact that I am not entirely sure how much I love my job anymore. Outside work I don`t really feel like being overly social because eventually the questions always end up being what I want to do with my life or why am I so down and I really don`t feel like explaining all that because I don`t know the answers myself. Plus I feel like lately I haven`t been much of a friend to my friends anyway so better to whine here than to them.
This weekend is a big music festival near by. Last year it was the highlight of my year. This year I have been going back and forth if I even want to attend let alone enjoy it. This year the whole situation is a bit weird. The line up is not exactly exciting me even though I know there will be good acts no matter. Also the money is really tight for fitness instructors during the summer so every euro counts. The most prominent fact is that this year I am the only single one in my group there. Which means I will be an extra everywhere and I don`t know what to think about that. I know my friends are reading this and thinking "No, don`t say that. You are very much welcomed etc" but I want them to put themselves in my shoes and see it from my perspective. I would most likely feel like a third wheel even though there are thousands of people there. I just haven`t really felt like myself and don`t know how I would do during the weekend. I could even say I`m a bit scared to go knowing the emotions have been so up and down lately. It could go either way, maybe I could just get really drunk and not care at all, could that be an option? :D
Continuing with the yoga challenge. I made the conscious decision to put day 14 and 15 together. There was the yoga for runners on day 14 and when I watched it late at night yesterday I decided that I wouldn`t want to make the stretches right before bedtime since I wasn`t feeling very stretchy. Day 15´s challenge was standing yoga flow so I started off with that one to warm up my legs and ended with the yoga for runners. The standing flow was really enjoyable, it was some warrior poses and intense poses. All n all a nice flow which quickly warmed my body. The yoga for runners was mostly leg stretches which is always a welcome treat because I don`t spend nearly as much time as needed stretching my legs. When I was doing the yoga challenge today though I sort of felt very emotional for a minute breathing heavily. Is this a sign of me releasing tension or am I just slowly losing my mind I don`t know but the tears kept streaming down my face and I started laughing a bit because I couldn`t understand what was happening. Crying as a side-effect of yoga- let me know if this is common? :)
Namaste!
Kris.
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